November 8, 2015
Question – Are You Compassionate To Yourself?
We talk about physical abuse. We also talk about emotional abuse. Let us now speak of self-abuse. What is self-abuse? When we are talking about any abuse, an outside agent is involved. In self-abuse, we hurt our self. We do not need any outside agency. Our thoughts, our self-guilt and our self-beating do this for us.
Why do we do this – Some of this has to do with childhood and some with our failures in or adult life? Once we meet with few failures, we brand ourselves as a failed person. I know of a person, who not only called oneself a failed person but also believed that whatever one associated with would meet with failures, which is a complex phenomenon that involves total loss of confidence and loss of self-worth.
What should we do to stop self-abuse, one has to act slowly. One may also need outside support. The trust that got chipped away slowly has to be brought back slowly and cannot be restored quickly. Small failures lead to a loss of self-confidence. Small successes will lead to rebuilding the confidence. With the slow building of trust, we must get rid of our guilt. We have to forgive ourselves. We have to show compassion to ourselves. It is like this – If we find a hurt person, we handle him/her softly and are very compassionate. We have to do that with ourselves.
We all are very precious. We are most valuable for ourselves. Like a precious possession with us, we have to protect our dignity and confidence. We have to show the same care. That is compassion for our self.