Actual Resume Bloopers 0

Watch Those Resumes –

Actual Resume Bloopers


Here is a collection of actual resume bloopers:

  • “I am a rabid typist.” (and a maniac with numbers, no doubt)
  • “Here are my qualification for you to overlook.” (if you insist…)
  • “Skills: Operated Pitney Bones machine.” (In the front office of a kennel, right?)
  • “Education: BA in Loberal Arts” (With a minor in ear-piercing?)
  • “Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.” (Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?)
  • “Please disregard the attached resume – it’s terribly out of date.” (O.K. next!)
  • “I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.” (And housebroken?)
  • “Education: College. August 1880 – May 1994” (Must have been a tough curriculum)
  • “Cover letter: Thanks for your consideration, I hope to hear from you shorty.” (Let’s not get personal)
  • “Typing speed: 756 wpm” (Hey lay off the caffeine!)
  • “Objectives: 10 year goal: total obliteration of sales targets and federal income taxes and tax laws.” (Wow! Good luck, we’re pulling for you!)
  • “Please, please hire me, I’ll be a good worker.” (Now, now, try not to sound too desperate.)
  • “I worked for a major frucking firm” (Let’s not go there)
  • “Was instrumental in implementing a union at my last job.” (That’s nice, next!)
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